I’m ready to stop dreaming and start doing; I just don’t know where to start

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged so I figured why not do so now.

I’ve been thinking about infinity a lot lately. It’s sad that we find infinity in our world (eg. time, space, etc) but are not part of it. We all end up dying so we can never fully be part of it but I find myself seeking infinity all the time.

There is a certain romance about infinity that interests me. I wish I had infinite time to spend. I wish I could really take my time doing things and really appreciate them. I wish I could sit and enjoy this beautiful world we live in, its nature, its mysteries and its genius design. Our society has been shaped in a way that does not allow us to take our time. By the age of 18 most of us have to have decided what we want to do with our lives. Even though we don’t HAVE to choose, it’s considered “weird” not to; so weird in fact that it is viewed as a weakness many times. In a strange sense our lives have a schedule.

I think my interest in infinity can also be seen in my fascination with the night. As a youngster I always had a bed time, or went to bed by a certain time. If I wanted to stay up I would do so as long as I could and then would end up passing out. This has created a misconception in my mind; the misconception that the night is infinite. I have grown to believe that the dark and solidarity goes on forever. I enjoy the calm and time the night provides me, during which I can think uninterrupted by everyday aspects. As I have noticed in college, that is not true. I have spent a couple nights doing work all night until the rising sun. There’s always a disappointment when the sun rises and  the infinity is ends. It has deprived me of my one and only sense of infinity.

On a brighter note, it is always refreshing to see the sun and realize that yesterday’s troubles are old and that new challenges are coming around.

With that I bid you farewell and good luck infinity hunting.

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“How can you hate reading?! Reading is anything and everything in life!”- Father’s words, repeated from 1st grade to about a month ago before I went to college. Frankly I strongly despise reading. It takes forever and it takes serious focus and most importantly…interest, something many books to do not help me with.

I prefer to write but not all the time. My teachers, parents, everyone really always tell me to write my thoughts out and think things through as I write. Being a math person, I can’t do that. I can’t develop or progress or anything when I write.

My head is my sketch board. After a lot! of thought can I sit down and write. My writing is like a math equation. It must be perfect from start to finish. With that, I mean that I don’t like things not making sense or not having a certain track to follow.

All this being said, I much rather think than write or read. Maybe that’s why I was always good in english classes but hated them dearly.

Not much of a realization, but something I wanted to get out of my mind

My biggest fear is growing old and thinking back to the “good times”

I ran into the frigid sea and swam as far as I could. Actually I just swam far, for swimming as far as I could would lead me to Turkey. The water was clear, cold, and reminiscent of Arctic water. I laid on the salty surface and slowly made my way back to shore. As I swam back, I noticed that the water was much warmer close to shore.

In India, and other countries where the heat is unbearable, people eat hot peppers to feel cooler and take the heat in a different manner.

When you put yourself in a position worse than that in which you are in, you tend to see the previous position with favorable terms. The frigid shore line was not so frigid after all. The blistering heat has turned to a cool breeze after a pepper seed has detonated inside your body.

But are things really getting better? Of course not…things got worse so they look better.

This is a thought that has been bothering me for a while. How come those in worse conditions do better?

Obviously they value their new conditions more than someone who has already lived in those conditions. But what if the “Privileged” value their conditions too? Shouldn’t they thrive too.

In summary, I’m scared that I have not been through enough hardships to do well. Maybe I don’t value some things enough…maybe its just one of those stupid Laws of Nature that those who are privileged don’t deserve to have what those who “really want it” will have…I don’t know, just a thought…

A healthy male releases 500,000,000 sperm cells during each ejaculation. Holly shit.

You’re sitting somewhere reading this and you feel like an inconsequential little human in the sea of homo-sapiens. Just one amidst the six billion+ out there.

So, we may be inconsequential but we are also lucky! We, unlike the other 499,999,999 sperm cells made it through. We get to experience this world, instead of dying off helplessly in the dark corners of the female body.

Life may be tough a lot of the time but we have been given an opportunity to make something out of it. We have the chance to experience the joys and marvels of this world. To see something new and special.

So, the next time you feel weak, remember you beat 499,999,999 others in a race. Pretty impressive if you ask me. Enjoy life and look for the goodness out there

This is just a stupid analogy of mine but I thought it was worth sharing.

Life=Spiraling Staircase at the middle of the night

I stand at the top of the stairs and look into the darkness. Its 1 am and I want some water. Unsure, I grab the rails and take the first step. The cold marble under my feet holds me up but if I slip it could also crack open my skull or pop a rib out of its place.

Because of habit and mindless, countless experiences with stairs, I keep walking and keep holding on to the rail. As the stairs spiral I try to grab for the next rail. A moment of insecurity takes place. That moment when you move on to the next rail. Hoping that you will find something that has always been there but being unsure of whether it’ll be there or whether it’ll even hold you up and keep you from being hurt.

I know where I want to get but in all honesty I’m just taking steps in the dark with what I know at hand.

Stairs, a medium to another level, or a terribly dangerous structure of decadence